sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize