Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
