you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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