Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
