In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
