You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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