Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
