Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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