i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
