ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
