You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
