Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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