Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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