He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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