I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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