hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize