Sry I called you an 8
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
