You're completely useless in the revolution.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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