Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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