how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
