Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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