Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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