i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
