That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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