yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
