Well apparently he's into motor boating.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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