So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
