i just wanna soil my oats bro
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize