This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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