like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
