Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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