the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just tell him i said nine months
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
