3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
