I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
