I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
