And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
