theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Acid is not a monday night drug
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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