He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
porn star boner night. come get it.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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