I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
