Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
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you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
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What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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