I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Say something about gay babies.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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