where does the pee come out of this thing
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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