So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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