My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
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Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
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Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize