Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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