Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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