Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
