doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
