No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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