ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
