I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
