I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
