Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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