did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize