theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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