a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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