I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
